Thomas Mann

Thomas Mann, what a man, had a master plan
he had nine ways to get info into your hand
subject
keyword
bookstack
citation
related record
bibliograph'
boolean combination
subject expertise of people sources
and the type of literature
fills out your resources

Thomas Mann
Thomas Mann, what a man
the man with the plan
he's the man

now I saw Thomas Mann walking down the street
I said, "I need some information 'bout the shoes on my feet."
he went to the computer and he looked up this thing
handed me the book and said, "budda bing!"
I'm like, "I need something more in depth than that
I don't think you're in touch with the thoughts that I have."
he said, "pfft! au contraire, mon frere!
Mr. Thomas Mann could look up your derriere!"
He pulled out some boolean connectors on me
went to the stacks and got a published bibliography
his autobiography reads just like this
Thomas Mann topping off your Top Ten List
called all his friends and they all got in gear
interlibrary loan from here to here
when he uses WorldCat, you've got to cheer
always searching when he's sober, never drinking the beer
some people in the library got a lot of fear
Thomas Mann looks at the stacks with a mighty sneer
now I want to make it straight, completely clear
Thomas Mann, librarian of the year

back in the days of the private investigation
Thomas Mann learned the ways of our information nation
somebody pulled a crime and he had to solve the case
within an hour of searching, my man is up in his face
ain't no place you can hide from Thomas Mann
'cause he's got the whole world referenced at his hand
that time you peed your pants in the second grade
Thomas Mann has that photo on his homepage
some people looking down on the librarian
just mention the name and they get all contrarian
they like, "oh, do we have a library here?
I haven't been there in a year."
They thinking library science is just a big joke
you try to show them the ways and they only start to choke
it's like they cracking an egg and always spilling the yoke
think they cutting through text but only giving a poke
they gonna croak if they go to grad school
gonna make every major boo-boo
they gonna make everybody say, "you foo'!"
and Thomas Mann will be crying, "boo-hoo!
you didn't learn the ways of the information nation
and now you're stuck in your station, never reach emancipation
don't you know the way to stay really, really play
is just to jump inside your library every single day?"
Thomas Mann, he be rockin' it real cool
man, he be kickin' it old school
Thomas Mann never using the Google
unless he wants his search filled up with doo-doo